"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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