I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
