look no pants
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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