thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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