What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
