Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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