I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
