hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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