I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
