but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize