dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
