we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
