hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
