I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
