I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
