absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
