please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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