google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
