I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
