i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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