There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize