I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize