K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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