if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
