No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
