and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
