dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i love accidental penises.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sorry about my life...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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