hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
