ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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