it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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