ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
