She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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