every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She needs sedatives and a leash
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
