Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
