where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
