So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
