If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
