I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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