whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
