I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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