I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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