i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
