had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
