it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
