physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
