South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just had sex on a roof
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize