i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He passed out mid-signature
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize