Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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