PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
