Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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