Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
