If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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