dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
