I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
