the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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