so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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