And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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