Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
