yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize