shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
