so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
