i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
