Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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