I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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