I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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