Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize