kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
