Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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