It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
