youre lurking in front of me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
