I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
