I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
