You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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