I don't think brook has ever known best
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
