I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize