it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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