went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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