He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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