its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
