I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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