thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize