why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
